Keeping it Light

I know it's been a while since I last posted.  It's not that I haven't wanted to type something out, it's that I've just been boggled down, but that's really what I want to talk about today.

I've spent the past month pining over my own struggles.  I haven't lost weight (though I haven't tried too terribly hard), I'm stuck in a dead end job, I didn't get a promotion that I needed (Though, my best friend got the promotion and I am happy and proud for her.  She deserved it!), and I'm just tired of living from paycheck to paycheck. 

I for the most part bottle up my emotions.  I'm pretty good at concealing the struggles I am going through, but the past month has not been easy for me to just bottle it all up.  It's, for the most part, because I am just tired of the stress and it's on overload lately.  Stressed out individuals can do some major damage to themselves and to others. 

I woke up this morning, remembering something an old colleague had told me when I worked at my previous job.  He told me to, "ALWAYS keep it light".  Now, that's not a statement that most people will toss out to you, but what he meant by that was to always keep your head up, be likable, joke, laugh, smile, be positive, because all these things come across in your attitude and energy.  People and good things are drawn to positive energy.  No one wants to be around someone that is constantly stressed out and worried anyways.

Usually people that get in this mode go NO WHERE!  They continue to do the same thing over and over and they never pull out of it.

DON'T LET THIS BE YOU.

What I realized today is that through all this, I AM THANKFUL.  I have a beautiful family, I HAVE a job that provides for them, and even though I am still over weight, I am relatively healthy.

Not many people can say these things in the economy we are living in.  Many are struggling in more ways than I am.  Many do not have jobs.  Many do not have their health.  Lastly, not many have loving supporting families. 

So be thankful for what you do have and stop concentrating on what you don't have.  If I've learned anything for this struggle the past month it was to find Stephanie again.  I sometime lose track of who I actually am and what I believe in. 

Know what you believe in and the right from wrong.  Stand up for yourself, because at the end of the day you will always have your integrity.  :)

Skinny Gal..... Somewhere.
  

Motivational Friday!

So this week was a bust.... 

Next week I am probably going to do week 2 of C25K over, since I haven't had time to run this week.  There's been a lot going on at home and work.

We had to get certified as representatives again.  Our new presentation is 45 minutes of continuous talking and we had to know the script word for word.  Memorizing things is not something I am good at!!!!  I have a very difficult time concentrating long enough to memorize things.  Its part of my squirrel syndrome.

Regardless, I was the first person to pass the certification and I got the highest score that I know of on it.  :)  I was very proud of myself.  I got a 96% and we needed at least an 80% to pass.  According to our corporate office, if we didn't pass it by Saturday this week, we wouldn't have a job anymore....  Talk about pressure!!! 

It did stress me out for about 2 weeks.  I am SO glad it's over and now I can focus on my personal life instead of constantly thinking about work.

Brynn started walking the past couple of days and it's a whole new ball game now!!  She is wearing me out, not really in a bad way, but she's keeping me busy.  It may be a god send in the end, because I have still managed to lose weight through all this business.

I'm down to 197lbs.  It's going really slow lately, but my focus has been off as well.  I plan to be really serious again soon.  So, I calculated the weight loss I have achieved since the beginning of the year.  I have lost 71lbs since having my daughter last year and 37 of it since Feb. this year when I decided to start working out.  I am officially over the hill of my half way point.  I still have 67lbs to lose to get to 130lbs.  I need to do this before my brother's wedding next September.  It shouldn't be too difficult, but we'll see how it all pans out. 

On a completely different subject, I found a new tattoo that I REALLY want.  I want to change the saying, but I really like the wavy look and the way it looks like under the collar bone.  Here it is: 
 

I don't know if I have the balls to get it, but I love it!  I have one visible tattoo, and it's on my foot.  The tattoo artist that I had do it, pretty much did a horrible job with it and my flower kind of looks like a turkey.  It's supposed to be a lotus flower.  It's something I need to get fixed before I get this one. 

So, a little motivation for the weekend:

 This lady has a cute little shape that I would love to have.... 

And lastly, 5 lbs if fat vs. 5 lbs of muscle.  A good reminder as to why building muscle is important.  You look thinner and it weighs more. 

Have a GREAT weekend.

The Weekend is Over... Bummer.

I hope everyone had a lovely weekend.  I had a decent time trying to forget about this past work week and I did some damage control while doing so.  I have been on edge for about a month now and typically I bottle all my emotions up until I just explode.  Well, that happened.  I typically do not cry, and if so it's usually caused by stress.  I'd say I cry maybe twice a year, because usually it takes about 6 months for my emotions to pour out and then it just floods for like a days time.  So, why have I been so upset??? 

An opportunity came up at work and I applied for it.  It's something I have always seen myself doing and I wouldn't have to do sales anymore.  Unfortunately, everyone has told me that I am not going to get it, since there is a more qualified candidate that applied for it.

I feel like someone has shot my dog or something.  It was an opportunity for me to finally over come what has stressed me out for so long.  It would have been better security for my family, about an 8-10K raise (which is what I need more than anything), and better hours with having my small children.

I wouldn't have to live pay check to pay check anymore, I wouldn't have to worry about getting laid off every day, and I wouldn't have to work every Saturday and not as many late hours.

So, over all the time I had to just soak in these emotions over the weekend, I feel like I am going to come out ahead.  Regardless, if I get the position or not, it's an opportunity for me to work on myself.  To overcome people's opinions....  I am going to kick ass, take names, and basically say "Fuck You" to the non-believers.

My stand in boss told me that I want the position so bad, that that's probably why I won't get it.  She said she was in the exact same situation and when they slammed the door in her face, it just made her work harder to get where she's at today.  This is how management treats you at where I work...  :)  Isn't it fabulous?!?  It's one negative comment after the next.   

I think she expects that it will make me work harder at work, but actually, it's going to help me work harder to find another job.  I can't continue working in a position to where I am so incredibly unhappy.  I've always had a happy demeanor and I need to find that person again.

So, on the weight loss front, I was doing good until Thursday.  I was down to 197lbs, and then I started heavily drinking and eating and it was all down hill from there.  I've gained 4 lbs since Thursday.  This puts me back above 200.  So, today I officially get back to my hard core dieting and exercise routine.  Maybe I needed that little spurt of badness to overcome this goal.....

Today starts week 2 of C25K.  I ran 4 days last week and other than my thighs rubbing and causing a friction rash, I seem to be doing well with it.  Any suggestions for the runners out there as to what I can do to reduce this?

                

    

Make Up!

I thought the make up was bangin' yesterday, so I thought I would take a photo of it to show off.

My make up varies as to where I buy it and what I use.  I don't know of any make up artist that uses the same brand for everything. 

I always start with Shadow insurance as my eye primer.

All eye shadows are from MAC. I have a white shadow in the inside corner, a green in the middle and a midnight blue for the outer corner.

Eye liners are Almay, I've used it for years and refuse to change it.

Mascara varies.  I usually just pick any brand up.  Sephora brand is a nice brand.

I use Clinique powder and bronzer on my face.

I feel like I do my eyes really well when I am in the mood to go all out.  What would everyone think of me doing a tutorial? 

C25K: Week 1 Day 3

I woke up this morning bright and early at 6 am and I was scared my knee was going to bother me, but it didn't.  It felt much better.  On the other hand I stepped out of my bed and couldn't walk, because my calve muscle was as hard as a rock.  It literally felt like an anchor that was weighing me down.  I debated if I was even going to run today.  I hopped back into bed thinking I would just do a Turbo workout this morning and fell back to sleep until 8:30 when Brynnie woke. 

I got up and still the calve muscle was bothering me.  What I found weird was it's just in my left leg-opposite of the knee that was bothering me.  I must have put more pressure into the run with my left legs since my right knee was killing me. 

I did my usual routine, fed Brynn, and all that jazz.  I got ready to do some kind of work out and as I was stretching my legs I decided I could run.  I broke out the good ol' treadmill and did it.  I HATE treadmills!  I enjoy running so much more, because I don't focus on my time I have left while running.  It wasn't dreadful, because it was only 30 mins, but I did stare at my time the entire time and I couldn't wait for it to end.  I did have a better time with my knee since the treadmill has the shock resistance to it.

So, I did it!  I completed day 3 with a smile on my face!  :)  WHOO-RAH!

C25K Week 1 Day 2

In my akwardness, I decided to do a video this morning while I was making my drive to work, and yes, both my hands were on the wheel while I was driving! 

Skinny Gal.... Somewhere.

Week 1, Day1 of C25K

Jiggle, jiggle, jiggle..... 

That is the first thing that I noticed as I started running.  I was jiggling everywhere. 

I have came a LONG way so far this year.  I have lost a total of 36lbs and 42".  THAT'S A LOT!  Not as much as I could have done without having the responsibilities that I currently have. 

A little history about Mrs. SGS.  In High School I was heavy.  My first boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me over a girl that had just moved into town and was tall, pretty, and thin.  It was heart breaking.  I decided I needed to make a change.  I lost 60 lbs in a very short amount of time.  I played soccer for my H.S. soccer team and I would come home from practice and continue to work out.  I loved how fast the results showed.  I remained real thin until I was diagnosed with Grave's Disease in 2006 and had to have my thyroid eliminated.  In the year and a half that it took to get my thyroid regulated by Synthyroid, I gained 100 lbs.  I let my weight set until I got pregnant with my daughter last year 2011.  I realized that I would never be able to run around with her in the back yard.  So, after I had her, I decided I had to make serious changes again AND for good!

My daughter is the reason I breath healthier now.  She is my WORLD completely.  I still have a long way to go, but it's always a work in progress. 

So, anyways, Week 1 Day 1 of C25K wasn't too bad.  Getting past the JIGGLE was the hardest part.  I felt my saddle bags around my hips and rear really jiggling more than anything, but that's ok, because one of these days, I won't have to battle this bulge anymore.

The first week I believe starts you out on a 5 min. warm up, and 8 intervals of running for 60 seconds and walking 90 seconds and a 5 min. cool down. 

Random change of subject:
I found out on Saturday that I will be in my brother's wedding in Sept. 2013 as a bridesmaid, so that means I still have 70 lbs to lose before that date.  Should be cake, right???